The Journey: Pete’s Breakthrough
For privacy reasons, client names have been changed.
“I feel so much better, but there is one thing I would like to understand,” Pete said just before he left. “My mom and I have a great relationship, but my relationship with both my brother and father has always been strained. I just don’t get along with them. Nothing really happened, it is just horrible.”
Of course, I jumped at the opportunity to help, even if it was only for Pete to gain insight.
Using a specific technique, he went back to the moment where he made the decision that he didn’t like them.
We are the only ones making decisions for ourselves. Seeing that it was Pete sitting in my office, he was the only source of information and he was the one who has the issue. Once we accept this fact, there is no need for a situation analysis, or family relationship/dynamics assessment. We are in charge of our own thoughts and feelings. This is a huge lesson I had to learn on my personal journey.
As I watched Pete do the inner work, he became teary and then I could see relief flood over him. Pete opened his eyes and I could see his face beaming with joy. Pete stood up with sudden urgency and asked to be excused. He left.
I knew something profound had happened to him, and had to wait until the next day for our last session to hopefully understand what was going on.
Pete walked into my office the next morning, with a perfect posture and wide smile. The question mark in my eyes must have been very obvious, because Pete immediately started telling the most wonderful story.
Growing up, Pete’s family lived in a very small coastal town. He is the younger of two brothers. One day, when Pete was almost two years old and his brother four, his father told him that he was taking the older brother on a long road trip to Cape Town and that he had to stay with his mother. Pete stayed.
As an under-2-year-old with very limited perception, he subconsciously decided that his dad and brother didn’t like him or want him with them. Now, having found the origin of the relationship woes and looking back, he knows that it would have been very difficult to take him with them. It was never ever personal.
On the following Monday morning I received a call from Pete telling me that he invited his parents and brother for a family lunch and explained what happened. I know that there were tears of gratitude and joy as the relationships were 100% restored – instantly!
At this stage of my Life I am convinced that all strained or broken relationships come from limited perceptions that we are mostly not even aware of.
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